When Cheating Occurs, What about the Children?

When you’re involved in a relationship, and you feel the connection between you and your partner has taken a turn for the worst and is starting to show signs of deteriorating, let http://infidelity-concerns.com help you find out whether cheating is the cause, or not. No matter how hurtful it would be for you to confirm that your partner is cheating on you, it is a step you have to take, and it is a step in the right direction.

In the majority of cases if you have a gut feeling, odds are there is a good reason for this, but you need to know beyond the shadow of a doubt. There is no room for guessing, nor should there be any room for denying the facts when you confront your partner. You need to know exactly what is happening with your relationship, you need cold hard evidence, and you need to free yourself from the veil of lies that might be in the middle.

Recognizing the Implications

We have to stop for a moment and consider some of the implications, so we are prepared to deal with them. For example: what if you have children within your household who are your offspring or your partner’s offspring? What happens to them when one of the parents cheats? It doesn’t even matter whether the two of you are married or not, if you have children they are right in the middle of it and it is going to have an effect to them whenever it is discovered that one of their parents is having an affair.

Here are three scenarios that can happen when cheating occurs in a relationship, and you have children:

1 The cheating becomes more damaging because not only is there betrayal in your relationship, but you the children become victims of the betrayal as well.

2 Resolving the issues surrounding the cheating should be an issue only between the parents, and should not involve their children, especially when they are infants.

3 Some people think that cheating does not necessarily matter for the children because everybody makes mistakes, even parents, and children need to be aware.

Which of these three descriptions best describes you? No matter which one you fit best, it all boils down to the undeniable fact that cheating is going to have an effect the children, in one way or another. It could be that the affair ends up affecting the relationship that your children have with each other as siblings. And it will definitely have an effect with the relationship that they have with the parents. The operative word here in either instance is confusion. If mature adult minds have difficulty coming to terms with this subject, just be aware that in children’s minds the results can have even a bigger effect.

Be There for Them

Both parents need to remember that there is a tendency for children to blame themselves at the onset of a divorce or a breakup. Once infidelity has been discovered, make sure not to get your kids involved with all the drama during a potential separation. Remember that one of you has already been selfish enough not to consider what effect the cheating would have on the children and at this stage you need to minimize the impact.

At the end of the day, cheating is something you can only wish were an issue between just the parents, but it always has severe consequences for the children involved as well. Whether the infidelity leads to a reconciliation or separation later on, it is your responsibility as parents to make sure that your children get out with as little emotional scar as possible.

Be There for Yourself

We have barely scratched the surface as it relates to the affects that an affair has on children but make no mistake that it is a key component of the scenario. Careful consideration and serious effort must be made to make the best of a bad situation. As difficult as it is to accomplish this when under the severe stress of the situation you will need to be there for your children in spite of your own problems. However, don’t feel bad if you have to arrange to send your kids on a vacation for a week or more if you feel it is in yours and their best interest and provided there is a secure and love filled environment they can go to while you work through the issues you have to in order to maintain your own sanity and prepare yourself for your families solution.

If you are working through conflicting issues right now, take advantage of the bonus material in the free report at http://infidelity-concerns.com to help you to see it though and get to the other side.

Moving On After Cheating

One of the frequently asked questions that people ask is how they can save a relationship when cheating has occurred. Lets say that you are a married couple, or you are in a close long term relationship when one of you has cheated and then the other has chosen to forgive.

After this occurs, largely people could think that once there is a crack in your relationship, things will be exceedingly complicated to solve; very much like a broken vase where you can cement back the pieces, but they will not be quite the same ever again. But is this always the case? Not necessarily. This is particularly true if you choose to forgive, forget, heal the relationship and allow things a second chance.

Not only can things in your relationship be glued back together again but your relationship has the promise to be something far more precious than ever before. Does this take hard work? Without a doubt, but with love as the motivation it is fulfilling work. The catch is, this is undeniably a job that takes two!

The Healing Process

In order for you to have a head start in saving your relationship, of course, the cheating partner has to be thoroughly on board and give up his or her lover with no reservations, no hesitation and no looking back. Then, the person who has been cheated on also has to be ready to forgive and move on. This is never the simplest thing to do, and even though it might be easy to say I forgive you, this is only the first small step. Once you forgive a cheating partner, it can take a long period until you really sense the forgiveness in your heart, but never the less, it begins with your decision.

You might say that forgiveness is instantaneous by the simply uttering the words I forgive you, but in truth, it takes time for this forgiveness to feel genuine and real. Do not be surprised or confused when this happens, it is completely natural and happens 100% of the time.

Getting Past the Pain

There are layers of forgiveness which exist when it comes to something so deep as dealing with an affair and working through the very many deep issues. One layer is often recognizing that not only should you forgive your cheating partner, but you must also forgive yourself. In a lot of instances, this is part of the healing process which a lot of people actually miss.

In order for you to become completely healed, you must to be able to forgive yourself and consider yourself blameless. There is no space for guilt with forgiveness, and if you are considering yourself accountable for the demise of your relationship, that must stop. There are two people involved that share accountability for harming the relationship so seldom, if ever, is the breakdown in a relationship totally the fault of one or the other person. This, however, can not justify engaging in an affair, it only implies that you cannot hold yourself completely liable for the problems in your relationship, so do not let that happen. As soon as you see those kinds of ideas happening, realize those ideas are worthless, and just untrue.

Only when you have sincerely forgiven yourself and your cheating partner, will you be able to rebuild trust, where slowly, but surely it will return to your relationship. http://Infidelity-Concerns.Com will help you through the discovery process and help you with the inevitable healing stage you will encounter. Everything is going to get better, so do not let this keep you down. You will get though this and help is close by.

To find out much more information on this topic and to assist you with your discovery and recovery go to www.infidelity-concerns.com/extramaritalaffairs for further information or sign up for the free report on this blog.